Stuck in Neutral

I spent some time today with the director of a great program here on campus called Second Act, which is all about new beginnings for displaced homemakers. These women suddenly find themselves responsible for providing the income for themselves and their family. Usually this is because of the death of a spouse or divorce.

In the latest Second Act newsletter, they discuss a book by William Bridges called “Transitions.” He describes the steps involved in making changes, in creating new beginnings. Bridges states that the first step is to declare an ending. If you are still giving energy to an event, condition, person, relationship, or situation, then you have not really ended it. Stop giving the person, relationship, problem, career, event or circumstance your time, energy, thoughts, or consciousness. Stop letting it control your “now” moments.

I think too often we are tortured by the idea of what could have been, might have been, or should have been, that we are missing the joys of the life we have in front of us right now. We are to learn from the past, not live our lives there.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Stuck in Neutral

  1. Hi: This is true to some degree, but unfortunately losing a spouse or a child, you’re going to be stuck in neutral for awhile, it’s no quick answer or journey. There are different transitions, and some people get through them quicker than others, but ultimately we all heal in our own way and time. There’s no prescribed right or wrong to it. We certainly can learn from the past, and try to move on from it, it’s just a matter of time and attitude.

Comments are closed.